The reason for telling stories about men we thought were “good” is not to permanently etch their names into some list of “shitty men,” though the lack of real justice means those lists are often all we get. The reason is for us to understand deep in our bones that there are no “good” and “bad” men or “good” and “bad” people. To repair the harms done is going to take change from all of us. We can’t just pat ourselves on the back for not being as bad as Weinstein.
The initial extremes of anger seem to be abating. Yes, I'm a male. I grew up in red-blooded full-throated patriarchy. I routinely use phrases and act in ways that are disrespectful through today's lens. To be honest, even through yesterday's lens; my old man fought in WWII, an era and ethic that has died off. I have autopilot reactions, things I mimicked from him because he was my father; there is no conscious thought or personal ill-will behind them, they are reflexes and simply need disruption. I appreciate when people point them out. I don't get angry.
I was writing an article over the weekend, and started to use 'hysteria' in a description. In light of #metoo, I realized (given an extensive background in Latin) that term is now more outmoded than ever, should only be used in very specific limited range.
I crossed it out and replaced it with 'deranged'.
Cultural change always starts small, with individuals. Women can lead the male horses to water and try to make them drink, but the changes will only start when men become self-aware of their behaviors.
Guys, we have to try. Harder.